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The unlikely headline game

Started by beagle, October 02, 2006, 12:41:01 PM

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Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

Gas prices plummet, as Oil Companies voluntarily reduce their profit margins.

"We just couldn't justify the huge, bloated profit margins we were making, in the face of other problems world-wide", said Exxon Corporation's president, Lee Raymond in an interview Thursday.

"Our company has made enough people rich.  It's now time to cut back a little, and ease the pressure on the middle-class."

Other companies quickly followed Exxon's lead, and the price of gasoline dropped to and average of $1 a gallon. Natural gas prices are expected to fall as well.
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Sibling Lambicus the Toluous

Industry Pundits Call Oil Companies "Obsolete"

With gasoline consumption at record low, oil companies having been slashing retail prices to record low levels in an attempt to regain some of their lost sales.  In a recent interview, one oil company CEO expressed his outlook: "We're going the way of the buggy whip manufacturers," said a top exec. "These price-cutting measures are just prolonging the inevitable.  How are we supposed to sell a product that people don't want or need any more?"

Aphos

Fox News Announces Its Support of Hillary Clinton
--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

Swatopluk

Paris Hilton awarded Nobel Peace Prize
Playing her new CD on difficult political conferences led to peaceful resolution of several severe crises.

Ann Coulter keeps her mouth shut
"I had nothing to offer but hate and we already have to much of that"
Knurrhähne sind eßbar aber empfehlen würde ich das nicht unbedingt.
The aspitriglos is edible though I do not actually recommend it.

NeferKa the Bodhipasta

"No Child Left Behind" is Left Behind


Aphos

Mathematicians Run Riot in Streets as
Proof of Riemann Conjecture is Announced
--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

#21
Airlines finally admit that Lost Luggage is a company policy, and not accidental at all.

An airline industry spokes-weenie said yesterday, "Actally, all airlines own stock in luggage companies, as a way to defray costs.  And many own stock in clothing companies as well.  Deliberately loosing the occasional luggage helps to keep the value of their stock-holdings high.  But, now that the 'secret' is out, likely they will turn to more conventional means to cut costs.  Like trying to fly the published schedules ... "


___________________________________

From http://www.toostupidtobepresident.com/ (click link for the complete article)

Bush urges partial declassification of Constitution, other documents

Washington, DC, September 28, 2006 - Stung by Democratic criticism following a New York Times leak of a government document that purportedly asserts, "all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights," President Bush has asked Director of National Intelligence John Negroponte to declassify key portions of several documents that had been kept for decades behind steel doors weighing several tons.

"Such assertions, taken out of context and leaked as we enter the stretch-run of a campaign, represents an obvious attempt to confuse voters," said Bush.

Within hours, Negroponte had released the partially redacted, ten-point conclusion of a document called the "Constitution."
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Swatopluk

Bush strikes Kim Jong Il from Xmas card list

"He did not invite me to his fireworks display on Sunday. He knows that I can't watch this thing over here for real, so he should have invited Rummy and me because he knows how we love those nukkular crackers."
Bush said that he hoped that his buddy in Tea-Ran would be more forthcoming with his. "I'll bring the pork chops and the whiskey."
Knurrhähne sind eßbar aber empfehlen würde ich das nicht unbedingt.
The aspitriglos is edible though I do not actually recommend it.

Aphos

--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

After the single test, Korea announces it is giving up ALL nuclear capabilities

In a surprise announcement today, Kim Jong II told a BBC reporter that after today, Korea would be getting rid of all their nuclear materials, and would no longer seek to become a nuclear power.

"After seeing the devastation that the test caused, I have come to realize that nuclear power is not something I want Korea to have.  It is simply too dangerous.  We are going to give all our nuclear materials to Switzerland, as they are the most neutral."

The announcement was met with surprise by leaders around the world.  The president of the United States, however, was reported to have said, "What are nuclear materials?"
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Sibling Lambicus the Toluous

'Politician' Leads List of Most Respected Jobs
Positive response to these noble, selfless public servants "overwhelming", says polling company representative

Swatopluk

Phelps apologizes to families of fallen soldiers
Knurrhähne sind eßbar aber empfehlen würde ich das nicht unbedingt.
The aspitriglos is edible though I do not actually recommend it.

goat starer

Greer slams women drivers

Imelda Marcos in "too many shoes" outburst


and this from the daily express...

Diana - Foul play ruled out

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Best regards

Comrade Goatvara
:goatflag:

"And the Goat shall bear upon him all their iniquities unto a Land not inhabited"

Swatopluk

Defense project proved cheaper than expected
A spokesperson for Raytheon announced today that the company would send $1.3 billion back to the Pentagon because the new weapon system Spanker 2010 was completed 2 years early and 40% under the minimum cost estimate.
Knurrhähne sind eßbar aber empfehlen würde ich das nicht unbedingt.
The aspitriglos is edible though I do not actually recommend it.

Sibling Chatty

Southern Baptist Convention Leadership Apologizes to Carters, Others Alienated By Recent Behavior

(When pigs fly...)
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