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The unlikely headline game

Started by beagle, October 02, 2006, 12:41:01 PM

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beagle

Easy enough this one. Headlines you are not likely to see. I'll start us off.

"George Michael spends quiet evening at home with stamp collection."

The angels have the phone box




Sibling Lambicus the Toluous

Fox News Changes Slogan for Sake of Accuracy
"Fair and Balanced?  Who were we trying to fool?" says network executive

The Black Spot

"Ken Livingstone to be new presenter of Top Gear"

Aggie

Here's a couple of real ones (though one of them's not unlikely) taken from the same edition of a local paper a few years ago (not April 1st either):

Morning Stiffness A Concern*
Head a Terrible Thing to Waste**




*In the car repair advice column.
**Regarding children's bicycle helmet safety
WWDDD?

Kiyoodle the Gambrinous

Bush Impeached
The Us President impeached after a sex scandal with his Secretary, a 29-year old man
********************

I'm back..

********************

Griffin NoName

Panorama unveils abuse of Priests by Novice Nuns
Psychic Hotline Host

One approaches the journey's end. But the end is a goal, not a catastrophe. George Sand


Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

Bush resigns, following an announcment that the New Democratic Congress will begin Impeachment proceedings

"I just could not remain in office, as I clearly lost the mandate of the people." says George Bush.

Cheney steps down as new president-pro-tem.

"I just can't, in good conscience continue as president, because I'm just as guilty as George Bush is" Cheney said in a recient interview on Fox News.
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Aphos

#7
Bush Admits Mistake

President Bush today announced that the invasion of Iraq was a colossal mistake...


(Oh...sorry...you said "unlikely" didn't you.  This one is just flat out impossible. ;D)
--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

Microsoft Announces Free Upgrades to Vista

In an abrupt turn-about, Microsoft announced today, that anyone with a valid licence-key to any of the previous Microsoft operating systems, including Windows 95 or later, will be entitled to a free upgrade to Vista, when it's released.

"Its about time, that Microsoft gave something back to the world community" said Bill Gates, the CEO of Microsoft.  "After all, Microsoft has enjoyed record profits for the past 15 years.  It's time to share the wealth a bit."
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Aphos

Discovery Institute renounces Irreducible Complexity
--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

Sibling Chatty

Tom DeLay Admits to Having Met Jack Abramoff ::) ::) ::)
This sig area under construction.

Aphos

--The topologist formerly known as Poincare's Stepchild--

ivor

Rep. Mark Foley to Make a Cameo Appearance on the Hit Cartoon Avatar

Rep. Mark Foley will join the ranks of the Air Benders, Fire Benders and Water Benders.  He will be the first Gender Bender.  ;D

I guess that's only funny if you've seen the cartoon.

Bob in a quantum-state-of-faith

Tom Cruise finally admits Scientology is Fake

In an interview with Fox News today, Tom Cruise said that all his work in Scientology was just acting. "To all those who said I had no talent, take that! My work in and on Scientoloty was ALL acting.  I don't really believe any of that crap at all.  It's just character-research for an upcoming expose movie about the movement."

In another interview, Tom's wife, Katey said, "It's a HUGE relief, really.  The more I learned about Scientology, the more worried I became that I had made a really, really bad mistake."
Sometimes, the real journey can only be taken by making a mistake.

my webpage-- alas, Cox deleted it--dead link... oh well ::)

Al Dante

#14
Press Secretary Downplays Terror Threat
Points out that disease, accidents, natural distasters pose much greater risks to Americans

EDIT: Here are a few more, for U.S. politics season:

Candidate calls incumbent "too tough on crime"

Candidate apologizes for inaccurate attack ads

Candidate, expecting large turnout of young voters, vows "no more pandering to seniors"

Poll: Few voters give a crap who their State Treasurer is

Day after election, supporters mobilize in force to remove their candidates' signs, stickers from city

... and one more for the business section:

Newspaper ads "not cost-effective," study says.

- Allenbatrachus