Where's my cow?

[Pachyderm]

Been listening to the audio book of Thud, by Terry Pratchett. it contains the story Sam Vimes reads to his son every night, the Where's my cow? of the title.

Verses are as follows:

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "baa"
It is a sheep
It is not my cow.

etc.

Let's do our own.

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "AAAARGGGH!"
It is a pirate.
It is not my cow.

[Aggie]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "BLRUUUUUT"
It is a toadfish.
It is not my cow.

[goat starer]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "all history is the history of class struggle"
It is a goat.
It is not my cow.

[Aggie]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "glug glug glug" 
It is Kiyo.
It is not my cow.

[The Meromorph]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?

It's got a smiting stick!
It's Sibling Chatty!
It's not my cow/

[Bluenose]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It says "She'll be right, mate!"
It's a dinkum Aussie.
It's not my cow!

[Pachyderm]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "You don't believe in the same God I do. You are going to burn in Hell!"
It is a fundie.
It is not my cow.

[anthrobabe]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "I didn't do it, you are just picking on me."
It is a traffic stop.
It is not my cow

[Aggie]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes _{"I start again fron Murphy's Law , in a Calabi-Yau space, with blake holes who begin matter and particles, and my Anti-bomb H is more near than 2 months ago."}
It is E.Raser
It is not my cow

[Swatopluk]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: ,,Wenn innerweltlich Seiendes mit dem Sein des Daseins entdeckt, das heißt zu Verständnis gekommen ist, sagen wir, es hat Sinn. (...) Sinn ist das durch Vorhabe, Vorsicht und Vorgriff strukturierte Woraufhin des Entwurfs, aus dem her etwas als etwas verständlich wird."
It's Martin Heidegger
It is not my cow.

[Opsa]

Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "If internal-laily Seiendes with its the existence discovers, i.e. to understanding came, says we, it is reasonable (...) sense is through intend, caution and anticipation structured whereupon the draft, from that something as somewhat understandable becomes ago."
It is the Babelfish translation of that Martin Heidegger quote.
It is not my cow.

Edit by Swatopluk: The translation seems to make more sense than the original

[goat starer]

Where is my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes: "I have of late,—but wherefore I know not,—lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire,—why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours. What a piece of work is man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculties! in form and moving, how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension, how like a god! the beauty of the world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?"

It is a miserable danish prince.
It is not my cow.

[The Meromorph]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?

It shows the blue screen of death.
It is a Windows computer.
It is not my cow.

[Swatopluk]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?
It goes "Gosh! It's hot!"
It is Paris Hilton.
It is not my cow

[beagle]

Where's my cow?
Is that my cow?

It goes
"It is essential for the effectiveness of monetary policy that
inflation expectations remain anchored to the target. There is
no evidence from Consensus forecasts that this is under threat
over the longer term: projections for CPI inflation in 2012–17
are close to the 2% target. But market-based breakeven
inflation rates and shorter-term survey measures of
households' inflation expectations have picked up a little over
the past 18 months or so. Interpreting those movements is
not straightforward. Market-based measures are linked to RPI
rather than CPI, and contain an inflation risk premium."

It appears to be the interim inflation report of the Monetary Policy Committee of the Bank of England.

It is not my cow.